It was 6 years ago when I first went to a coach. He was a music lover/maker hippie teaching my husband how to play the guitar.He was more like a mentor to me. I went to him to talk about my creative projects: making new drawings, writing a novel. In the end we talked about my life and the challenges I have faced at that time. We talked about how our world works, how people are connected, how each of us affects other people’s lives.
This was life changing for me! I was so interested in learning about all of these topics (the multipotentialite in me was hungry) and to change my life to the better. At that time I had a front end developer / webdesigner / do everything you can kind of job. It was a small company that I was working for. I had 2 other colleague and a boss. I have faced 3 challenges at that time: I wasn’t good in communicating with my colleagues. I thought they should have worked more and put more effort in what they were working on. Secondly, our clients rarely used the websites I have created for them. This was kind of sad, after all putting all those hours of work into the projects and some of them have never even used their websites. Thirdly, after a few years I felt drained, tired all the time and I wanted to do something else, something more creative.
The first mentoring / coaching I got resulted in a big life change for me. I have spent time to think about who I am and what I want. I also spent time looking at my (and other people’s) relations and how these affected me. I wanted to understand why people acted in a given way in a situation. (This is how you can learn to handle other people’s opinion mentally.)
The life coaching course and seeing how other people see you
The second coaching happened three years later in the end of 2012. I actually went to learn to be a life coach! I knew that I wanted to change my career and since I had such fond memories of the mentoring sessions I had before, this looked like a good choise. I have been surfing days on the net and eventually find out about life coaching. I have watched a few sample videos of coaching sessions and I got really interested in it. It felt so exciting that I had looked up a course at my town and made a decision that I will go and learn it.
What we got on the course was lots of self improvement. I have realised that how other people saw me was so different from how I saw myself. I was always trying to please everyone, to be kind to everyone, and you know what, many people didn’t like this!
At that time my shoulders were stiff as a rock, I always did my best to behave politely and not to disturb others. What did they see in this? That I have been always sitting in the same pose, not moving at all, like as if I am not livng at all.
I have also learned at that time that not saying anything has a meaning as well: it means you don’t care. Or at least that is how others will interpret your non talking behavior. They think you don’t care about them or about what they do. So if you have an opinion about something, it is better to say it out loud! You will feel better afterwards and people will see that you are with them too.
After the coaching course I have decided that I wanted to start my own online business: making digital paintings and selling them. I have left my day job and started my new jobless journey.
I have run into some serious resistance soon enough. (Procrastination and analysis paralysis anyone?) I have procrastinated on everything that was possible to procrastinate on: creating new artworks, promoting my business, answering comments. I have also questioned a lot if this is what I truly wanted to do for all my life?
Coaching has pulled me out of this mess and helped me again
Years have passed, we are in April, 2015. My business didn’t grow, I was still stuck questioning what I wanted to do while procrastinating on doing the next steps. This was when I have found out about the coach.me app that lets you track your daily habits. “Just what I need” – I thought and made an account on the site. I have added some habits I wanted to do daily: painting, writing, meditation, journaling and a few more. I was motivated by the app, I did my best to do everything I wanted. Then, after one and a half month later there were a few days that didn’t go well and I have stopped doing my daily habits. My super long habit records have ended and I was so sad about it, that I’ve stopped using the app altogether. Luckily a month later – since I have used the app so many times before – I got an invitation from coach.me to be an accountability coach on their site. They even had training and certification to get me ready for digital coaching.
My excitement returned and I have joined the club. I met new people, amazingly productive and helpful people. (Thank you Nik and Cherry for your great insights!) I didn’t know what to do at first, so I have asked for help and a few weeks later I have been coaching and being coached as well by other coaches. At that month I was so productive, I did so much and I was enjoying those days as much as I have never before. I was working on my artworks. I was writing. I have read lots of articles, books and learned about coaching, self-development while doing coaching myself.
After we stopped coaching each other after a month, I went back into a passive mode again for two months. I was not writing anymore, not painting either. I have been just consuming but not creating.
In December 2015 I felt that something was really missing. That what I did was not what I really wanted to do. I have missed being productive. I wanted to create, to share, to empower to help.
I knew the answer. I knew that I was missing that time when I was coached and gave coaching. I also knew that I was interested in making videos.
I’ve started to create again. I wrote about how to improve your art drastically, made videos like how to find your artistic style and even finished a painting from a few months back.
I have started to coach on coach.me as well. I know how much it has helped me to learn about myself and to taste what it is like to be productive. At first I needed help with being productive, because when I was on my own I have been procrastinating. I have had not enough motivation since I didn’t know what was it like being so productive. I had to experience it first to know how it feels.
Now this experience is there to motivate me from the inside. The best motivation always comes from within yourself. For me it says “go and create”. If I don’t create an empty space remains reminding me to fill it up. Coaching can give you this first push into the direction of changes. It is like a parent who helps you ride the bicycle then lets you go to enjoy the speed and journey for yourself.
I enjoy creating and sharing what I know. It gives such joy, fulfillment and satisfaction for me. This all started with getting help from someone in the form of coaching. Change needs time. Self development doesn’t happen overnight, but it starts with a step. You can be productive, you can create and you can enjoy your life. If something in your life is not how you want it to be, it means, it is time to change!